Meme of the Day

GordoVille slideshow 1 - slideshow with music

Cookout at the Chill-Villa



Most stereotypical picture I've ever taken.



GordoBitties

Today, on this beautiful Friday night, me and my colleague decided to head down to the Villa and put in some work on the grill. We decided on our usual Butcher Ribeyes, about 1.2 lb. each, and this time, the steaks were grilled to absolute perfection; perfect grill marks, beautiful fat render, and a warm, pink center. I decided to make our grill sesh a cookout, and invited a few good friends for a GordoVille Cookout: Jess and her friends Morgan and Kelley from Cheese country. Ofcourse the girls we invited ate hotdogs, and knew alot better than to ask for some steak. Anyway, I digress, the steaks and dogs were on point, except for.....Ahhh this is hard to admit..... I let 4 of the dogs roll off the grill. Now mind you the grill was broken and slanted, but still, a good craftsman never blames his tools. As we hopped into my private pool, the water was a crisp, cool temperature that contrasted nicely with the heat of the day, and that washed over our sense of first impressions. However, me and young J got a little bored when the girls decided to keep their heads above water, so that Jess could keep her fro from coming to life. Anyway, the cookout came to a nice close, with Kelley having trouble opening the door for the 4th time. It was a chill grill sesh, and it'll soon be repeated.


The Trademark Steak-Toast




1.2lb. Ribeyes

 

The Constitution.

The Constitution of the United Nation of GordoVille

We the Gordos of GordoVille, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure carnivorous Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Food to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United Nation of GordoVille.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of GordoVille, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the status of twenty five Wings, and been seven Months a Gordo of the United Nation of GordoVille, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that Nation in which he shall be chosen.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any Sector , the Executive Gordos thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Status of Thirty Wings, and been nine Months a Gordo of GordoVille, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that sector for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of GordoVille shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they are equally divided.

The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common

Defence and general Welfare of GordoVille; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout GordoVille.

The executive Power shall be vested in The Presidents of GordoVille. They shall hold this Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice-President chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the Sector may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Gordo holding an Office of Trust or Profit under GordoVille, shall be appointed an Elector.

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of GordoVille, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Fullness, Bitchery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Kebobs at the Villa

On Friday the 8th, me and my colleague decided that we'd splurge a little, and do some grillin. As my broke down, triflin colleague came into my house, however, I almost decided to call the grill sesh off. This black mother fucker tracked mud all over my carpet, and proceeded to sit his fat, broke ass down on my couch while he watched me clean it up. Anywho, We didn't feel like buying steaks again, so we decided to raid my kitchen for some chicken. At first, I was a little hot under the collar, when young Leroy asked what marinade I was going to use, because I was fresh out of my favorite one. However, using my Flamemast0r skills, I casually whipped up a spice rub that was incomporable to even the best in the industry. Comprising mainly of lemon pepper seasoning, this tantalizing rub made the partially frozen chicken quite the treat. As we walked down to my private pool house, we saw the grills open and ready for gordo action. I plopped the kebobs on the barbie, right as lil Jakey proceeded to point out what he called a "good deal." What he called "a fine ass bitch" was nothing more than a common trailer trash hoe wearing a one piece with dreadful hair extensions and fake nails. As I tried to convince young scooty that he'd lost his damn mind, the poor old fellow started to tear up. So i gave him a taste of grill squash, and miraculously his little bitch tears dried up. In conclusion, me and little juice had quite a time grilling that Friday, and will be continuing the practice this Friday, in celebration of me graduating. Don't worry Scoot0r, with government programs like no child left behind, you'll be sure to graduate too!

Meme of the Day

Meme of the Day

4th of July Grilling

On the day of our nations birth me and my colleague young Dicky decided to grill a couple of ribeyes.  We went to Giant looking for some good steaks and were thoroughly underwhelmed by the selection but then we went over to the butcher section and saw some beautiful thick ribeye steaks and asked for 2 one pounders.  As the lady behind the counter started to weigh the steaks we slowly realized the bitch actually wanted to be smacked she tried to hit us with the "I don't know if we have any that size" and all I could think is this stupid bitches job is to cut meat she better just trim some down.  Once we got back to the villa and went down to the pool we saw the only open grill was right next to some chimpanzees and we knew it was gonna be awkward but we had to go for it.  This was one of the most stereotypical coon get togethers I've ever witnessed they had crappy burgers and a bunch of watermelon with some food lion brand grape soda.  When I thought it couldn't get any blacker they broke out a propane fryer, put some flower in a food lion bag, put some catfish in the flower, shook it up, and fried up some catfish.  Back to the steak I have to give little Ricky most of the grilling credit he finally found one thing he was good at.  We probably grilled the steak for almost half an hour and we were scared for a little bit that it wouldn't be cooked through but when we cut into it we realized it was some of the best steak we've ever had.  Definitely one of our better Gordoville adventures thanks to everybodies favorite ging0r...

Meme of the Day