Zoe's kitchen

It was a cold winters eve, and I was on my way to Buffalo Wild Wings in charlottesville. Upon passing through barracks road shopping center I witnessed a rather large black fellow getting out of a clunker jeep and walking toward Zoe's kitchen (a restaurant popular with the homosexual community). I wondered to myself, "is that that dude Jacob?." To my surprise, it was him. I decided to post up outside and watch this man and see what it is he wanted from this place. To my dismay, I saw this dude with my own eyes order a salad with no dressing. For the next twenty minutes, I saw him nibble at the thing, like a slim little vegetarian. After that night I realized that this dude must be on a diet. I've even seen on many an occasion, Jenny Craig meals being delivered to this mans house. It's a shame to see a fellow wing eater turn to such gay and pathetic cuisines. If anyone is reading this, when you see Jacob Bryant, be sure to call him "Zoe" so that maybe out of humiliation he will change his salad eating ways. 

WWC bitch fest

It was a cold January day, the afternoon myself, Nathaniel, birch, and gaycob met at WWC. As we sat down, gaycob instantly ordered a salad, as myself and the other men at the table swiftly declined. We had chosen to meet at a time that allowed for an unlimited wing deal. So immediately I knew I was going to blaze past my main competition, gaycob. As predicted, I ate 24 wings, and the little phony ass panzy gaycob, ate a mere 18. Mind you he was fighting the imminent urge to vomit the entire time. He even whispered to me in tender, feminine words that he was struggling to even breathe he was so full. As I looked to my right, I was surprised to see that Nathaniel had managed to stomach 30 wings. he even cleaned the wings down to the bare bones, whereas gaycob barely ate about half of each wing. So leaving this meeting, I had learned two meaningful lessons. One being that Nathaniel knows how to clean some meat off of bones. And two, that gaycob is in no way, shape, or form a friend of mine. I will also add that afterwards, I proceeded to flirt with gaycob a sister. I got them digits just to showcase my abilities, and then never called that deal again.