Zoe's kitchen

It was a cold winters eve, and I was on my way to Buffalo Wild Wings in charlottesville. Upon passing through barracks road shopping center I witnessed a rather large black fellow getting out of a clunker jeep and walking toward Zoe's kitchen (a restaurant popular with the homosexual community). I wondered to myself, "is that that dude Jacob?." To my surprise, it was him. I decided to post up outside and watch this man and see what it is he wanted from this place. To my dismay, I saw this dude with my own eyes order a salad with no dressing. For the next twenty minutes, I saw him nibble at the thing, like a slim little vegetarian. After that night I realized that this dude must be on a diet. I've even seen on many an occasion, Jenny Craig meals being delivered to this mans house. It's a shame to see a fellow wing eater turn to such gay and pathetic cuisines. If anyone is reading this, when you see Jacob Bryant, be sure to call him "Zoe" so that maybe out of humiliation he will change his salad eating ways.